YEAR 2013 EXAM PAPER - UEC - DISCUSSION - 独中英文写作范例

How do you see yourself ten years from now? Describe the goals you would have achieved by then.  

 

Grammatical errors: 

I am a eighteen-year-old girl in 2014. After ten years, I would become a twenty-eight-year-old lady in 2023.

 

     In 2023, maybe I would have achieved my dream which to get married to a handsome and tender husband and have a pair of children, one boy and one girl. I would prepare three meals per day (breakfast, lunch and dinner) for my children in order to make them enjoy everyday. At night, I would read stories for them then, they would feel relaxed yet they would sleep easily. Besides, I would talk and chat with them so they would open their hearts in order to make life easy. Husband and children are in my life and I would feel happiness.  

 

     At that moment, I would have a huge building for my own. The huge building would fulfill my dreams. The huge building have three levels. The ground floor is for a bakery shop. It would supply a lot of delicious desserts such as cupcake, macaron, pie, puff, cake and others. The second level is a boutique shop. In this area, there would be show different kinds od fashionable clothes. The highest level is a hair salon. Apart from customers who love clothes, some customers would prefer those who are accompanied by their friends or family to choose clothes and design hairstyles, they would feel bored so they can choose to go the ground floor to enjoy their time , eating desserts, cake or pastries. These are all my dreams and it would become my career.

 

Besides, I will have a dream house which is a bungalow. It is luxurious house with many rooms. I have a lot of rooms, which are be decorated in different styles. My dream bedroom is a pink-painted room and the wall is hung some cartoon pictures such as my favourite “ Hello Kitty”. I have my own KTV room, bathroom and a pool in the clearing behind my house. Besides, I have enough money to buy my favourite car which is branded “ Mini Cooper”. I have ability to buy what I want and I love so that I do not need to think a lot before buying something. It is what I want and appreciate.

 

I will have achieved my goals and targets after ten years from now.

 

 

After correction:

 

In 2014, I am a girl of eighteen years old. I would age up to a woman of twenty-eight in 2023 after ten years.

 

Maybe by 2023 I'd have realised my dream of marrying a charming and loving husband and having a boy and a girl as my children. For my kids, I would make breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day so they could look forward to eating. They would feel calm and fall asleep quickly when I would read stories to them at night. In addition, I would engage in conversation with them to encourage openness and facilitate an easier way of life. Having a husband and kids in my life would make me happy. 

 

Then, I would have a sizable structure all to myself. The enormous structure would realise my aspirations. The enormous structure has three floors. The bakery shop will be on the ground floor. It would provide a variety of delectable sweets, including cupcakes, macarons, pies, cakes, and puff pastries. The boutique shop located on the second floor. There would be displays of many types of stylish clothing in this location. A hair salon represents the greatest level. Aside from customers who enjoy shopping for clothing, some customers prefer to shop for clothing and design hairstyles while accompanied by friends or family. If they get bored, they can choose to walk to the bottom floor to pass the time by indulging in desserts, cake, or pastries. All of these are my aspirations, and they would all be my careers.

 

Additionally, I will have my ideal bungalow-style home. It is a spacious, opulent home. I have many rooms, all of which are furnished differently. My ideal bedroom is painted pink, and on the wall are some of my favourite cartoon characters, including "Hello Kitty." In the clearing behind my house, I have a pool, bathroom, and KTV room all to myself. Additionally, I have enough money to purchase my preferred vehicle, a Mini Cooper. I can buy what I want and adore, so I don't have to give purchasing decisions a lot of thought. It is what I value and what I want.

 

After ten years, I will have accomplished my objectives.